In Praise of Wisdom (Proverbs 8)

Over the past few weeks, we’ve studied some wonderful practical wisdom about how to avoid foolish friendships and foolish romance. This week, in Proverbs 8, Solomon has us take a step back and look at wisdom itself. As we’ve seen in Proverbs 1-7, wisdom is personified as a woman and she has some amazing things to say about herself. That’s right. Wisdom boasts about herself. Now, we are not to be a people who brag, unless that which we brag about deserves it–like God! We boast in God, we boast in Christ! In Wisdom’s case, she deserves to boast too, and in chapter 8, she gives us 7 boasts–7 claims to fame–in an effort to draw us in to listen to her.

In our summer teaching series “Wise Up: Learning the Art of Living,” we’re studying biblical wisdom in the book of Proverbs. Biblical wisdom is the art of living in God’s world. In Proverbs, wisdom begins with God. Here’s the foundational truth about wisdom in Proverbs:

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7 NIV)

Now for wisdom’s claims to fame in Proverbs 8.

1 Does not wisdom call out?

Does not understanding raise her voice?

2 At the highest point along the way,

where the paths meet, she takes her stand;

3 beside the gate leading into the city,

at the entrance, she cries aloud:

4 “To you, O people, I call out;

I raise my voice to all mankind.

5 You who are simple, gain prudence;

you who are foolish, set your hearts on it.”

Wisdom teaches in high-visibility, high-traffic areas of the ancient world. In today’s terms, we could say she’s publishing on billboards, on TV, and on social media. Why? Because she wants everyone to hear what she has to say. This is wisdom’s 1st claim to fame:

#1 Wisdom serves whoever will listen.

Wisdom’s specific teaching in Proverbs 1-9 are often aimed directly at young men. But here, wisdom offers her gift to all people, at least those who listen. There is even hope for the simple and the fool if they will commit to listening to her. That’s why the decision to learn comes at the entrance to the city. Wisdom is needed BEFORE you enter the city in order to avoid the wickedness and temptations contained within.

There is a brand of wisdom that is very impressive and high-minded. But biblical wisdom not just for the intellectuals or the people who seem super-spiritual. It’s for anyone who commits to learning it. In Proverbs, wisdom is not so much about becoming a self-styled philosopher as it is submitting to the Creator and committing to learn His ways. That’s why the most educated can be foolish while the least educated can be wise. Anyone can learn God’s wisdom if they humbly decide to listen.

6 “Listen, for I have trustworthy things to say;

I open my lips to speak what is right.

7 My mouth speaks what is true,

for my lips detest wickedness.

8 All the words of my mouth are just;

none of them is crooked or perverse.

9 To the discerning all of them are right;

they are upright to those who have found knowledge.

10 Choose my instruction instead of silver,

knowledge rather than choice gold,

11 for wisdom is more precious than rubies,

and nothing you desire can compare with her.”

Verses 6-8 stacks six aspects of wisdom to give us reason to listen to it. Wisdom teaches what is right and good as opposed to the temptations found earlier in Proverbs, such as the wicked men who tempted the young man into foolish friendships or the adulterous woman who tempted the young man into a foolish romance. Unlike those temptations, and this is wisdom’s 2nd claim to fame,…

#2 Wisdom’s teaching is totally right and good.

You know, one of the most frustrating things about trying to be a good, informed citizen is that it’s hard to know who to trust. Which politician? Which news source? Which analyst, eyewitness, or scientist? As a young adult, there was a brief moment where I pursued a career in politics. But I quickly became frustrated with the lack of trustworthy sources. I wanted something trustworthy and true, right and good. That’s when God put it on my heart to dedicate myself to the study and teaching of the Scriptures. God’s Word is totally right and good, and that, as Solomon says, is worth more than anything else.

12 “I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence;

I possess knowledge and discretion.

13 To fear the LORD is to hate evil;

I hate pride and arrogance,

evil behavior and perverse speech.

14 Counsel and sound judgment are mine;

I have insight, I have power.

15 By me kings reign

and rulers issue decrees that are just;

16 by me princes govern,

and nobles—all who rule on earth.”

Wisdom previously described her teachings, but now she explains what she has to offer the world. She describes her character and her possessions. She fears the LORD and hates evil, from the inside out. She owns knowledge and sound judgment but doesn’t keep them to herself, which is her 3rd claim to fame:

#3 Wisdom equips rulers for justice.

When governing authorities do justice, it is with the help of biblical wisdom. When Solomon first became king of Israel, he asked God for “a discerning heart to govern God’s people and to distinguish between right and wrong.” (1 Kings 3:9) Solomon recognizes that good government, the administration of justice, begins with a desire to know and do what is right and good according to the Creator, not himself! Solomon’s wisdom put God on glorious display to the neighboring nations. Joseph, as a slave and prisoner in Egypt, displayed the wisdom of God and was promoted to be Pharaoh’s second-in-command. Daniel, as a prisoner in Babylon, displayed the wisdom of God and was promoted to be a governor. Jesus, of course, displayed the wisdom of God in His life, ministry, and kingship. In September, we are going to give a brief teaching series on how to think biblically about government and citizenship because that is an area of our lives where we can put God on display as we live out biblical wisdom.

17 “I love those who love me,

and those who seek me find me.

18 With me are riches and honor,

enduring wealth and prosperity.

19 My fruit is better than fine gold;

what I yield surpasses choice silver.

20 I walk in the way of righteousness,

along the paths of justice,

21 bestowing a rich inheritance on those who love me

and making their treasuries full.”

You can trust wisdom. She’s not going to hold out on you, cheat on you, or disappoint you. If you commit to her, she’ll commit to you. This is wisdom’s 4th claim to fame:

#4 Wisdom rewards all who love her.

Wisdom’s rewards go beyond material things (money, possessions, etc.). Her rewards are “enduring” and are BETTER than gold and silver. What’s better than material rewards? Spiritual rewards. Wisdom offers right relationships with God, with family, with neighbors. Money can’t buy the joy and peace that comes from a life that pursues righteousness.

Having discussed her present contributions to our societies and lives, wisdom now gives her backstory in a flashback to the day she was “born”…

22 “The LORD brought me forth as the first of his works,

before his deeds of old;

23 I was formed long ages ago,

at the very beginning, when the world came to be.

24 When there were no watery depths, I was given birth,

when there were no springs overflowing with water;

25 before the mountains were settled in place,

before the hills, I was given birth,

26 before he made the world or its fields

or any of the dust of the earth.”

Proverbs 4 told us to get wisdom. The first rule of wisdom is to get wisdom. Whatever else you get, get wisdom. The Hebrew word translated “brought forth” in 8:22 is the same Hebrew word translated “get” in Proverbs 4. In eternity past, before the universe was created, God “got” wisdom. This is wisdom’s 5th claim to fame:

#5 Wisdom was the first thing God “got.”

Wisdom’s been around for a long time. In fact, wisdom was around before time! She and God go way back! Now this is all obviously poetic language. Obviously God never existed without His wisdom. It’s not like God needed to brush up on universe-creating before he got started. The idea here is that, when God leaned in to create the universe, the eternal attribute He used was His wisdom. If even God got wisdom, certainly we must get it as well!

Wisdom continues her flashback…

27 “I was there when he set the heavens in place,

when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,

28 when he established the clouds above

and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,

29 when he gave the sea its boundary

so the waters would not overstep his command,

and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.

30 Then I was constantly at his side.

I was filled with delight day after day,

rejoicing always in his presence,

31 rejoicing in his whole world

and delighting in mankind.”

Wisdom was “born” before creation so she was there to witness it all. Look at how these verses work through the days of creation. Wisdom was there on days 1 and 4 when God created light and put the sun, moon, and stars in the sky. Wisdom was there on days 2 and 5 when God created the sky and the sea and fills them with living things. Wisdom was there on days 3 and 6 when God put the sea in its place and created land for animals and ultimately humans! What is wisdom doing that whole time? She is constantly at God’s side, rejoicing and delighting in what God is up to, like a little kid excitedly helping dad by handing him tools and dancing for joy at the progress. What an amazing picture of wisdom. Here’s wisdom’s 6th claim to fame:

#6 Wisdom is woven into God’s world.

This is God’s world. It’s not a world of random chance. It’s not a world without design. It’s not a world for the taking. It’s not a world that we get to define. Even broken by sin and death, it’s still God’s world. We are guests here, and we must live by His rules. When I say rules, don’t imagine that He’s out there to squash our fun. That would be a total misunderstanding. God’s rules–wisdom–exist for our flourishing. Wisdom dances with God, His world, and His people.

Animals learn to live and flourish in and around humans. Deer herds and turkey flocks roam our neighborhood. Not far behind them are the raccoons, skunks, possums, owls, foxes and coyotes. These wild animals can flourish in a neighborhood full of people if they respect human presence. In a similar way, we must adapt and submit to the God who made the world we live in. Biblical wisdom is how we “get in touch with the universe,” with ultimate reality, with God’s reality. It syncs our hearts and lifestyles up with what He counts as truly right and truly good. The only way to live in harmony with this world is to live in submission to the One who made it.

Wisdom closes by giving setting this choice up for us:

32 “Now then, my children, listen to me;

blessed are those who keep my ways.

33 Listen to my instruction and be wise;

do not disregard it.

34 Blessed are those who listen to me,

watching daily at my doors,

waiting at my doorway.

35 For those who find me find life

and receive favor from the LORD.

36 But those who fail to find me harm themselves;

all who hate me love death.”

The choice is clear: listen to wisdom and receive her blessings or ignore her and the rewards. But you can’t have it both ways. You can’t ignore wisdom and expect her to save you. This is wisdom 7th claim to fame:

#7 Wisdom’s rewards are exclusive to her followers.

Wisdom’s blessings only fall on those who commit to learning from her: listening, watching, waiting. I recently enjoyed a YouTube series called “the Chosen,” which is a fictional retelling of the early ministry of Jesus. One of my favorite parts was watching the disciples figure out what it even meant to be a disciple. They really had no idea what they were supposed to be doing, until Mary Magdalene said, “I think he just wants us to watch.” That is what a disciple is. It’s someone who watches and learns from the Master. Over time, we become like Him. Or as Paul puts it in his letter to the Colossian church:

…that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. (Colossians 2:3)

You see, for us Christians, the invitation to listen to biblical wisdom is really an invitation to be a disciple of Jesus. He was the One, after all, who was actually there with God the Father in the beginning and through whom all things were made. And He is the one who has made Himself available to all who will listen. Think of the ways God could glorify Himself, change our lives, and bless our community. And ultimately that is our prayer: That God would help us become a church for the community as we LEARN from Jesus.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

Based on the 08.30.2020 message “In Praise of Wisdom (Proverbs 8).” Watch or listen at calvarymuskegon.com/learn-from-jesus.

Big Idea: Biblical wisdom is the art of living in God’s world.

Read Proverbs 8:1-5. Who does wisdom offer to teach?
Read Proverbs 8:6-11. How do wisdom’s words differ from the temptations of wicked men (1:11-14) and the adulterous woman (7:14-20)?
Read Proverbs 8:12-21. How has wisdom proven her worth in political and personal history? What kinds of rewards does wisdom offer (be sure to read and think carefully here)?
Read Proverbs 8:22-31. What points are being made about wisdom in her “autobiography”?
Read Proverbs 8:32-36. Who gets wisdom’’s rewards? Practically speaking, what will it look like for you to become a student and follower (disciple) of wisdom?

How to Avoid Foolish Romance (Proverbs 7)

Last week, we studied Proverbs 6 and the horrifying consequences of foolish romance and sex outside of God’s design. What’s the consequence? Revenge from a furious husband and a furious God, among other things, and the best way to avoid that is to avoid the temptation altogether. A mouse trap is designed to kill an unsuspecting mouse easily sucked in by the bait. All the mouse needs to do is avoid the trap. But if it comes to close, it will inevitably be tempted to its death. There is biblical wisdom here for us.

Biblical wisdom is the art of living in God’s world.

God’s rules for His people are pretty clear: Love God. Love your neighbor. Make disciples. But life includes a lot of gray areas: work, family, relationships, money, conflict, neighboring, cultural and political engagement. Biblical wisdom sheds light on these gray areas.

In our summer teaching series “Wise Up: Learning the Art of Living,” we’re studying biblical wisdom in the book of Proverbs. Wisdom can be found all over the Bible, but it is most concentrated in Proverbs. In Proverbs, wisdom begins with God:

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7 NIV)

What if we became a church of learners, hungrily seeking wisdom from our mighty and compassionate God? What if we were daily wising up in thought, word, and deed and spreading it to others? Think of the ways God could glorify Himself and bless our community. And that is our prayer, right? That God would help us become a church for the community as we LEARN from Jesus. It all begins with learning!

Wising up includes learning to avoid, flee, and fight temptation.

1 My son, keep my words

and store up my commands within you.

2 Keep my commands and you will live;

guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.

3 Bind them on your fingers;

write them on the tablet of your heart.

4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”

and to insight, “You are my relative.”

5 They will keep you from the adulterous woman,

from the wayward woman with her seductive words.

The father tells his son, “guard wisdom and it will guard you,” in this case from foolish romance. In fact, he says to guard wisdom like “the apple of your eye.” The apple of your eye is the pupil, the center of your eye. It’s one of the most precious and vulnerable parts of our bodies. It even has its own built-in protection–the eyelid. In Deuteronomy 32:10, it’s said that God “guarded [His people Israel] as the apple of His eye.” God compares His people to His pupil. He cares for and protects it at all costs. Here, Solomon tells his son to treat wisdom like this. To care for and protect it at all costs.

He tells the son to call wisdom his “sister” and “relative.” As weird as it may seem, this is marriage talk. In the ancient world, a husband and wife sometimes referred to one another as “brother” and “sister,” not because they actually were, but because they had a deep new bond and had created a new family together. So, the son should treat wisdom as his first love, his bride and wife. This is important, because, in this little story the father will tell, there is an actual woman coming after him who does not have his best interests in mind.

6 At the window of my house

I looked down through the lattice.

7 I saw among the simple,

I noticed among the young men,

a youth who had no sense.

8 He was going down the street near her corner,

walking along in the direction of her house

9 at twilight, as the day was fading,

as the dark of night set in.

In Proverbs, THE FOOL, THE SIMPLE, and THE WISE exist on a spectrum and that spectrum is on a hill. All of us begin our lives as simple, and we move in one of two directions. It’s a lot easier to slide into foolishness than to pursue into wisdom. This story is about a simple young man, who instead of pursuing wisdom, is putting himself at the wrong place–“near her corner…in the direction of her house”–and at the wrong time–“at twilight…as the dark of night sets in.” This is…

Mistake #1: He gave temptation an opportunity.

In 2 Samuel 11:1-2, the great King David put himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Instead of joining his army who was out fighting his battles, like any good king would, David stayed home in his comfortable palace, went to his balcony as night was setting in, and spotted Bathsheba, another man’s wife, bathing. David gave in to temptation and committed adultery with her. Their first son died just a few days after being born, but later, after they had married, David and Bathesheba would have Solomon, the author of most of Proverbs. Solomon, the child of an adulterous relationship, would know full well his family history and the foolishness of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Before you’re tempted, avoid it.

The best way to beat temptation is to avoid it altogether. Think about when and where you are most vulnerable to temptation of all kinds but especially temptation to foolish romance. With a certain group of friends? When you’re with that guy or that girl? When you’re lonely? Late at night? When you’re tired? When you’re broke? When you’re bored? Spend some time thinking about when and where you are most vulnerable to temptation and AVOID it all costs.

Instead of putting yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time, put yourself in the right place at the right time. In Proverbs, the right place and right time for romance and sex is in marriage. So build and enjoy your own marriage or work hard toward getting one of your own if you can. More broadly, you can put yourself in the right place at the right time by learning from Jesus, acting like family, and serving our neighbors. That’s our church mission statement. If we devote ourselves to this, we’ll avoid so many temptations. There won’t be time or space for it.

But in this sad story, the simple young man moved near temptation, so it moved near him…

10 Then out came a woman to meet him,

dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.

11 (She is unruly and defiant,

her feet never stay at home;

12 now in the street, now in the squares,

at every corner she lurks.)

13 She took hold of him and kissed him

and with a brazen face she said:

He had wandered her direction and now she comes out to meet him. The father describes the tell-tale signs that this woman is evil. She is dressed in such a way to let men know she is available. She is clearly set on attracting attention to herself, manipulating people, and seducing men. She’s scandalously forward and inappropriate; you don’t just walk up to someone, grab them, and kiss them. The simple young man overlooks these red flags. This is…

Mistake #2: He ignored the warning signs.

He’s already on the path of foolishness because this woman is so different from the kind of woman young men should set out to marry. Proverbs 31 casts a vision for this kind of woman:

A Wife of Noble Character (Proverbs 31)

Trustworthy (11)
Hard-working (13)
Provides for family (15)
Generous to the poor (20)
Fears the LORD (30)

If you’re saying, “That sounds like my wife!” then you are a man blessed by God. Never stop giving thanks to God and being faithful to her. The young man of Proverbs 7 however did not internalize this wisdom enough to be turned off by the adulterous woman. Had he pursued wisdom, he would have been tipped off by her advances. Do this instead:

When about to be tempted, flee it.

Keep the ways of God always on your mind so that, when a moment of temptation comes, you recognize it and run. In Genesis 39, young Joseph was tempted day after day by his master’s wife, but he refused to give in because he knew it would be a sin not just against his master and his wife but also against God Himself. One day, she finally grabbed Joseph, but she didn’t even have time to land a kiss like the adulterous woman of Proverbs 7. Joseph bolted out of her room and out of her house, leaving his coat in her hands. Joseph knew the warning signs, and though he couldn’t avoid her altogether, he could run out of the house. Joseph had developed this instinctive reflex of obedience to God. He didn’t have to sit around and think it through. He loved God’s ways, and, when about to be faced with an impossible temptation, he ran from it.

May we run whenever we’re about to be tempted to sin, whether it’s romance or sex or lust or shopping or angry words. Let’s develop the reflex to be like Christ by keeping Him on our minds all the time. Sadly, the young man of Proverbs 7 does not flee at the first sight of danger, so he is sucked into the temptation itself…

14 “Today I fulfilled my vows,

and I have food from my fellowship offering at home.

15 So I came out to meet you;

I looked for you and have found you!

16 I have covered my bed

with colored linens from Egypt.

17 I have perfumed my bed

with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.

18 Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning;

let’s enjoy ourselves with love!

19 My husband is not at home;

he has gone on a long journey.

20 He took his purse filled with money

and will not be home till full moon.”

She bluntly lists the reasons he should come home and have sex with her. She pretends to be spiritual and also offers the young man a dinner. The fellowship offering was meant to not only be offered to God on an altar, but large portions of the meat would be eaten together by those who offered it. She flatters him by telling him that he was the one she wanted. She describes how amazing her bedroom looks and smells. And then she goes in for the kill: the invitation to come and enjoy foolish romance and sex. If the young man feared being caught and punished (remember adultery was punishable by death in ancient Israel), she puts him at ease by explaining that her husband won’t be home for a while and implying that they won’t be caught. And the simple young man just sits there and listens. This is…

Mistake #3: He rationalized sin.

He allowed her to convince him to sin. According to her, the pros far outweigh the cons, and he doesn’t push back one bit. He bought into her arguments even though they are clearly lies. She’s not in good standing with God which is required for the fellowship offering–she’s tempting the young man to, with her, break God’s 7th Commandment: “You shall not commit adultery.” She’s not only focused on him, as she said, because she’s been all over town. And the momentary pleasure she offers will lead to the young man’s death because, even though there is a possibility her husband won’t find out, someone else in the community already has (the father looking through the window) and God Himself certainly sees and knows all! So…

When tempted to sin, fight it.

If you can’t avoid or flee a temptation, then you’ve got to fight with all the biblical critical thinking and imagination you can. Fight to see that God is infinitely better than whatever is tempting you. Fight to feel the horrifying consequences of the sin. Fight to obey God and honor those made in His image. The best example of this is found in Jesus. Satan tempted Jesus intensely for 40 days in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11). But Jesus overcame each temptation with a biblical critical thinking and imagination that Satan could not match. Jesus’ whole heart was filled with God’s Word and His whole purpose was set on pleasing His Father.

Wising up includes learning to avoid, flee, and fight temptation.

Jesus wised up and avoided, fled, and fought temptation His entire life and God brought Him back to life when evil men killed Him. The fate of the Proverbs 7 man is a different story…

21 With persuasive words she led him astray;

she seduced him with her smooth talk.

22 All at once he followed her

like an ox going to the slaughter,

like a deer stepping into a noose

23 till an arrow pierces his liver,

like a bird darting into a snare,

little knowing it will cost him his life.

24 Now then, my sons, listen to me;

pay attention to what I say.

25 Do not let your heart turn to her ways

or stray into her paths.

26 Many are the victims she has brought down;

her slain are a mighty throng.

27 Her house is a highway to the grave,

leading down to the chambers of death.

The father stacks horrifying metaphors to describe the simple young man’s fate. There’s no fairy-tale happy ending here. The next time you kill a mouse in a mouse trap, with its dead eyes staring up at you, remember this lesson. Death is the fate of those who give in to temptation. She (or he) is not what you think they are. The tempter or temptress is a predator, a hunter, a serial killer. Foolish romance ruins lives, relationships, generations, and souls, so he repeats his wisdom: guard your heart and your paths. Or else.

But there is hope. The bad news is that adulterer or not, we are so sinful that only Christ Himself could pay for our sin. But the good news is that He was glad to do it. Jesus is “the resurrection and the life.” Christ suffered and died on the cross to absorb in Himself the eternal wrath of a jealous God, the wrath all of us sinners deserve. A thousand years before Jesus even died on the cross, the adulterer King David knew that God wanted to forgive those who repent. After realizing his sin with Bathsheba, he prayed…

Have mercy on me, O God,

according to Your unfailing love;

According to Your great compassion

blot out my transgressions. (Psalm 51:1)

You can pray that prayer, and if you mean, if you really hate your sin against God and others and commit to His ways, He’ll wash it all away.

Now, we each need to personally avoid temptation and seek forgiveness when we give in, but what can we do as a church to serve and help with one another with this? We all need accountability and encouragement in order to avoid temptation in general and sexual temptation in particular. Every single person is vulnerable to be tempted by foolish romance and sex, so we need to know some people and let ourselves be known by some people. We need to listen to advice and heed godly wisdom, even if we don’t like it. Another thing we can do, as a church seeking to become relationally-driven and grace-filled, is to…

Build relationships with those especially vulnerable to foolish romance:

Teens and young adults
Singles
Widows and widowers
Same-sex attracted

Some, because of their life situation, cannot yet or ever express sexuality in a godly way in marriage. Let’s be a church family that wants to know one another and know about the struggles, not to shame or belittle, but to care. Whether or not you feel like you need help in this moment, reach out and get help and give help, like the family of God that we are.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

Based on the 08.23.2020 message “How to Avoid Foolish Romance (Proverbs 7).” Watch or listen at calvarymuskegon.com/learn-from-jesus.

Big Idea: Wising up includes learning to avoid, flee, and fight temptation.

Read Proverbs 7:1-5. What is the purpose of the father’s wisdom in the upcoming lecture? Can older men and women, young or old, still learn from this wisdom?
Read Proverbs 7:6-13. What mistakes does the simple youth make here? Imagine: What better options did he have before he went out that night? How should he have responded to the woman who approached him?
Read Proverbs 7:14-20. What reasons does the adulteress use to tempt the simple youth?
Read Proverbs 7:21-27. What metaphors does the father use here to convince his son that the adulteress is dangerous? What is his concluding word of wisdom (see verses 24-25)?
If you have given in to temptation, thank Jesus for forgiveness if you already belong to Him. Ask Him for the first time, if you don’t. From now on, do what it takes to walk in God’s ways. What steps do you need to take to better avoid, run from, or fight temptation?

The Cost of Foolish Romance (Proverbs 6:20-35)

It’s easy to be tempted by something pretty unless you can keep its true costs fresh in your mind. We’re looking at replacing some of the windows in our house, so I was sitting through a presentation from a salesman the other day. He brought in a sample of their beautiful, durable windows. Special insulation features. Near invisible screens. The window easily folds down for cleaning. I was like, “Just install them already.” But then he showed us the price tag. Even after all the “discounts,” we were like no way. But then he would show us the super duper window again, and I would forget about that price tag. So then I’d go back to our budget, and be like nope still not worth it. But these windows were amazing!

Well, we’re not talking about windows today, but we are talking about how wisdom counts the cost, specifically when it comes to foolish romances. Here’s today’s big idea:

Wisdom remembers the terrible cost of foolish romance in order to avoid its appeal.

Just like I had to remember the cost of those windows in order to avoid a foolish purchase, biblical wisdom challenges us to remember the cost of foolish romance and sexual sin in order to avoid giving in to its temptation.

Biblical wisdom is the art of living in God’s world.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7 NIV)

One of wisdom’s qualities is that it saves us from foolish friendships and from foolish romance. Chapter 2 especially spelled this out. Two weeks ago, Pastor Jason, in an excellent sermon, taught from Proverbs 5 about God’s good vision for romance and sex within a marriage covenant. Foolish romance is anything outside the boundary of marriage. Last Sunday, our missional partner Brian Dix, in another excellent sermon, taught from Proverbs 6:1-19 about avoiding foolish friendships. How to spot and avoid wicked people and how to keep from becoming one ourselves.

This week and next, we’ll be back to wisdom about avoiding foolish romance. In Proverbs 6:20-35, Solomon teaches that…

20 My son, keep your father’s command

and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

21 Bind them always on your heart;

fasten them around your neck.

22 When you walk, they will guide you;

when you sleep, they will watch over you;

when you awake, they will speak to you.

23 For this command is a lamp,

this teaching is a light,

and correction and instruction

are the way to life,

24 keeping you from your neighbor’s wife,

from the smooth talk of a wayward woman.

To summarize, “Keep (lit. “guard”) the teaching and the teaching will keep (lit. “guard”) you.” Everyone runs the risk of forgetting wisdom, but simple people and young people are particularly vulnerable to let wisdom in one ear and out the other. It’s great to listen to teaching but, let me ask you this: do you keep the teaching with you throughout the day and week? Do what it takes to make biblical wisdom stick. Take notes to look at later. Watch this a couple more times. Read the Bible passage we teach each day for the rest of the week. If you keep wisdom, wisdom will keep you.

Specifically, verse 24 explains that this wisdom will protect the son from the adultery, from breaking the marriage covenant. Verse 25 gives the a condensed version of this wisdom:

25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty

or let her captivate you with her eyes.

Do not lust, do not be captivated. The rest of chapters 6 and 7 give wisdom on why and how to do this, but this verse is the heart of biblical wisdom on foolish romance and sex. Do not lust or let yourself be captivated. The focus is on the heart, the inner self, what we love, think about, and focus on. The word translated “lust” here is the same word translated “covet” in the 10th Commandment. Coveting is wanting something that God has made off-limits. Could be a house, a job, a talent, or a person. When you covet a person, that’s called lust, and the problem begins in the heart.

Our culture offers all sorts of advice about sex to mitigate damage. Be safe. Use protection. Ensure consent. Wait until you’re married. All of these are important, but consider the biblical wisdom: do not lust. The reason unprotected, non-consensual, and premarital sex are even problems is because the heart gets the ball rolling. Trying to manage the fallout from sexual sin without focusing on the heart is like trying to stop a 1-ton boulder from rolling downhill–don’ let it start rolling in the first place! Once the heart begins lusting, once it’s captivated, the sin has already begun and will be almost impossible to stop.

One way to guard your heart is, as Proverbs 5 taught, the young man was told to let his wife captivate him. People have a place for romance and sex…in relationship with their spouse. If you’re married, channel all that sexual desire into developing a healthy relationship. If you’re single but want to be married, channel all that sexual desire into preparing yourself to be a great husband or wife.

Another way to guard your heart is this:

Remember the terrible cost of foolish romance in order to avoid its appeal.

Solomon goes on to explain the extra-terrifying costs of foolish romance…

26 For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread,

but another man’s wife preys on your very life.

27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap

without his clothes being burned?

28 Can a man walk on hot coals

without his feet being scorched?

29 So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife;

no one who touches her will go unpunished.

Solomon interestingly points out that adultery is more costly than prostitution. In ancient Israel, adultery, unlike some other sexual sins, was punishable by the death penalty. Other kinds of sexual sin like prostitution, premarital sex, or pornography are still sinful and harmful, but adultery has far greater consequences because it breaks a marriage covenant, destroys a family, and ultimately, makes a mockery of one of God’s great gifts to us.

Solomon compares adultery to “playing with fire.” It’s just stupid (foolish) and destructive. Fire is a great thing in a furnace or an oven or a campfire, but if you stupidly misuse fire, it’ll burn you. Sex is the same way. Sex, as we’ll see, is a wonderful and powerfull gift of God. It produces children, gives joy, and binds a man and woman together in incredible ways. But misuse it and it will blow up in your face. Solomon continues describing the terrible cost of adultery…

30 People do not despise a thief if he steals

to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.

31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,

though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

32 But a man who commits adultery has no sense;

whoever does so destroys himself.

33 Blows and disgrace are his lot,

and his shame will never be wiped away.

Solomon contrasts adultery with another sin: stealing out of desperation. His point here is that adultery is more shameful and harder to reconcile. If someone steals out of hunger, there are consequences, but most of us understand. We’d probably do it too if we were desperate enough. But there is no need to commit adultery when you can have a marriage of your own. It is flagrant, foolish, and destructive. Blows–an adulterer might get beat up or worse–and disgrace.

In fact, the proverb promises that the shame attached to adultery will always be attached to you. One theologian says that, “in any healthy society [adultery] is social suicide.” Shame should follow anyone who breaks the marriage covenant. If you can’t be trusted to honor the most sacred of all human promises, why should you be trusted in business or in church or in government? Founding father Alexander Hamilton, whose story has recently been told through a Broadway musical, suffered this fate. He was a rising star politically and was instrumental in American independence and the ratification of the U.S. Constitution. Yet, when Hamilton cheated on his wife with another man’s wife, he fell into disgrace, and though he was probably on track to become one of our earliest presidents, his political career was ruined by the social shame from his adultery. In a more recent example, the very popular mayor of Seoul, South Korea, Park Won-Soon committed suicide last month, likely to avoid the shame attached to sexual misconduct of which he had been accused.

So, why is adultery particularly costly and particularly shameful? Solomon explains what’s going on here:

34 For jealousy arouses a husband’s fury,

and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.

35 He will not accept any compensation;

he will refuse a bribe, however great it is.

Why is adultery so destructive and devastating? A cheated spouse is jealous and furious, and rightly so. Few would blame a cheated spouse who wants revenge. Even our laws show a bit of mercy to someone who commits “a crime of passion”–a violent crime after discovering a spouse with another lover. Though still a terrible sin, it is a lesser crime in our society.

Unlike the starving thief who can pay back what he stole and more, the adulterer can never make financial restitution to the cheated spouse. Justice is really going to hurt. Now, ancient Israel was not supposed to practice vigilante justice, so Solomon probably does not envision personal revenge here. He probably envisions the cheated spouse pressing charges in a public trial and execution, which is what was called for in the law of Moses (Leviticus 20:10). Adultery has a terrible cost because the marriage covenant must be protected at all costs.

The marriage covenant is profound, powerful, and precious. The Old Testament book Song of Songs, which was likely also written by Solomon, teaches this:

6 Place me like a seal over your heart,

like a seal on your arm;

for love is as strong as death,

its jealousy unyielding as the grave.

It burns like blazing fire,

like a mighty flame.

7 Many waters cannot quench love;

rivers cannot sweep it away.

If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love,

it would be utterly scorned. (Song of Songs 8:6-7)

The marriage covenant is like a stamp, a tattoo on your heart and arm. The bond of the covenant (love) is as strong as death and a forest fire. It’s worth more than everything you have. Modern science has confirmed this. When you are romantically and sexually involved with someone, your body releases the same addictive chemicals that illegal drugs do. Sex literally makes us addicted to our partner. What a brilliant gift of God but what terrible consequences when misused.

Wisdom remembers the terrible cost of foolish romance in order to avoid its appeal.

If you’re thinking of breaking a marriage covenant, remember the cost. Ultimately, breaking the marriage covenant or lusting or coveting anything in general is an offense against God. And like a cheated husband, the Bible describes God as a jealous God. He’s jealous for the affection and allegiance of His people because He deserves it (Exodus 20:1-6). But when people sin against Him, He is furious and will punish. And like the adulterer who can’t possibly pay a cheated spouse off, there is nothing we can do to settle things with God. But here’s the good news or “GOSPEL” of Jesus: God absorbs the terrible cost of sin for those who believe and repent (Psalm 31:1-2; 51:1, 3). Jesus paid our ransom at the cross. Paul speaks to this in his first letter to the church in Corinth which struggled with all sorts of sexual temptations.

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:15-20)

Sexual sin is particularly destructive because it’s a sin against our own bodies, and our bodies are to be a temple of God’s Spirit, the place where God lives on earth! We’ve been learning about the temple in our church-wide Bible reading plan. Jesus died to pay our ransom, forgive our sin, and redeem our bodies so that we can represent Him in this world. When we misuse our bodies we misrepresent Him. Instead, let’s honor Him because He deserves every obedience in every area of our life, even our sexuality.

If you need help, reach out to a wise person you know or get a hold of one of the pastors or elders. There is hope. If you are carrying the weight of guilt and shame, there’s forgiveness in Christ. Ask God to have mercy on you and begin learning from Jesus. If you’re stuck in a foolish romance, time to get out. And if you’re being tempted in one way or another, time to wise up and remember the cost.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

Based on the 08.16.2020 message “The Cost of Foolish Romance (Proverbs 6:20-35).” If you missed it, you can watch, listen, or read it at calvarymuskegon.com/learn-from-jesus.

Big Idea: Wisdom remembers the terrible cost of foolish romance in order to avoid its appeal.

Read Proverbs 6:20-25. Verse 25 gives the specific wisdom of this section of Proverbs. What makes this wisdom so powerfully able to keep us if we keep it (v. 20, 24)?
Read Proverbs 6:26-29. Can you think of any situations where adultery was particularly destructive? What are the natural consequences of sexual sin in this world? What are the additional consequences for adultery?
Read Proverbs 6:30-33. Why is it worse to be an adulterer than a thief who steals out of starvation?
Read Proverbs 6:34-35. What unstoppable force is unleashed in cases of adultery?
Read 1 Corinthians 6:15-20. Does God get jealous when we “cheat” on Him and worship other things? Is it possible to appease God’s wrath and be forgiven? If so, how great is the price? How should we respond to this?